In June of 2023 I had a job that had me traveling extensively through the summer. I made my first trip ever to Brazil and met up with a colleague from Australia and we were working together with the team there for roughly almost a week. I had finished my 70.3 Ironman in Chattanooga not long before the trip and had been having some odd pain in my right knee. While not formally diagnosed, I believe I had previously torn my meniscus at some point while stepping sideways into an airplane seat next to the window. At this point, I had raced 70.3 miles on my right leg and didn’t think much of the odd twang of pain or two here and there.
I woke up early one morning and managed a 10-mile run on the treadmill in the gym on the top floor of the hotel in São Paulo. It was a beautiful view and I enjoyed every minute on that treadmill. I felt strong and was moving along at a nice clip. The hotel was near the office and there were wonderful restaurants nearby, so we made a habit of walking nearly everywhere on that trip – a pattern that I thoroughly enjoyed!
On one of our last days in São Paulo, the entire team went out to lunch. We were celebrating a productive week together and the departure of my colleague and I the next morning. After lunch, we walked back to the office for us to collect our belongings and make our way to the hotel. As we left the restaurant, I stepped off a curb onto the adjacent street and immediately felt a ‘pop’ in my right knee. It was vaguely similar to the pop I had heard when I believe I tore my meniscus. While not a doctor, I play one on the internet and had read enough to know that this was a telling sign that something was amiss.
With my right knee swelling gradually, I made my way back to the hotel and somehow made it through the airport and back home on the long journey from Brazil to the United States. Truthfully, I have little recollection of this part of the journey. While traveling, however, I do recall ordering a leg brace that I could wear to provide some support for my knee until I could see a doctor. This turned out to be a valuable purchase as I wasn’t able to see a doctor until early August.
For the next roughly 6 weeks, I would be traveling almost non-stop. I left Brazil around the 23rd of June, and would be traveling to Canada the following week, and then to Prague and Leipzig in mid-July. At this point, I was able to function with my brace thinking it was my meniscus and it would heal with an easing of my activities and time. I took my trusty brace and made my way north and then overseas. I walked miles and miles and miles on the streets of Prague with my brace providing the stability my knee needed. Every now and then it would flare up or I would have a twinge of pain.
When I returned to the United States, I saw my General Practitioner who suggested an orthopedic surgeon noting that only an x-ray or MRI would provide an accurate diagnosis, and that its likely that insurance wouldn’t cover the costs unless I went first to physical therapy. This confused me greatly given we didn’t have a diagnosis… so what would they be treating at physical therapy? I was referred to a sports physician who specialized in knee issues. He first did an x-ray and noted that it was unclear, and ordered an MRI. The next week I went for the MRI and then returned to the Orthopedic Surgeon the next week. It was clear as day on the MRI – my ACL was entirely ruptured and I had also torn my meniscus. The only option for repair was surgery and the degree of invasiveness would be dependent on the source of the new ACL that would be grafted. Together we decided that my quadricep was the best source and would be the lowest likelihood of tissue rejection, which – while a low possibility – was a possibility and I wanted to ensure that I only ever had to address this once.
On a side note, my colleague I had been traveling with in Brazil led our Global People and Culture team. She is an amazing Australian woman for whom I have tremendous respect and with whom I have enjoyed a growing friendship. When our other colleagues at work asked me what had happened with my leg, I like to jokingly tell them that she kicked me in the leg so hard my ACL ruptured. While entirely untrue, it makes for a better story than ‘I stepped off the curb wrong and years of wear and tear simply had my leg give way’.
The surgery was scheduled for August 18. It was a relatively straightforward procedure that would take roughly 2 to 2 1/2 hours to complete, but roughly 9 to 12 months for a full recovery. This latter part was the hardest part of the procedure.
We had a small hiccup with my fear of needles when they told me I’d need a nerve block. It was to be a needle in me leg. I was petrified. They quickly eased that fear with a cocktail of something in my IV that had me higher than a kite and without a care in the world. Shortly thereafter I was wheeled into the operating room for the procedure.
I woke up feeling like I’d had the deepest sleep ever, but hungry and ready for a coffee. I went home a few hours later with my leg wrapped in bandages and supported by a sizable brace, and was to make my way around with crutches. The brace would only come off when I had my leg in the machine that bent and extended my leg for hours on end. Literally, hours on end. For the next month or so, I worked from the sofa in my office with my leg propped up on the machine so I could ensure my leg would continue to heal and allow for movement.
I began physical therapy which started fairly easily with a lovely leg massage to ensure that the blood was flowing and circulating and that the tissue was healing properly. This quickly escalated into more challenging weight bearing exercises as I progressed with my functional brace. In the early stages, I was permitted to be on my bike trainer as the movement and motion was helping to promote healing and prevent atrophy. Once my sutures were healed about 6 weeks post-surgery, I was able to get back into the pool and start pulling with my buoy and paddles. It wasn’t until roughly 3-4 months later that I was able to begin to run again – and only while wearing my functional brace. My functional brace was somewhat smaller than the first brace as it provided the ability for some movement but also significant support. Running with a sizable leg brace on your leg isn’t easy.
Aside from the physical activity, I still had to travel for my job. Three weeks post-surgery, I traveled to Boston to speak at a CIO summit. Because I had crutches and my leg brace, I was unable to pull my suitcase. My husband traveled with me and ensured that I – and my luggage – was able to make it everywhere I needed to be. We did the same with a business trip to Medellin, Colombia five weeks post surgery. He was a saint for being our porter for both trips. If you have ever been to or seen photos of Medellin, you can appreciate that it’s nestled amongst the mountains meaning there isn’t a flat walking surface to be found. Walking often meant navigating up and down hills with crutches. While visiting, my colleagues wanted to show me the 13th District which is where the CIA raids took place in the 1980’s and it’s believed Pablo Escobar hid during that time. It was a fantastic experience, but was an afternoon of walking up and down steep hills on narrow streets. Somehow, I made it. One of my colleagues was tasked with helping me down the hills to ensure I didn’t topple over with my crutches. Challenging as it was, I’m so very glad I struggled through it because the sights and experiences were amazing!
The next 6 to 9 months were a continuation of physical therapy and increased physical exercise. I continued to increase my running, which was – to me – the gold standard of measurement regarding how I was progressing. I was cycling regularly and had increased my swimming significantly and well beyond the simple pull sessions I started with back in the pool. About 12 months post recovery, I started strength training in earnest. It was not only helpful for accelerating my healing, but has helped me transform my body into the strong physical shape that I’ve wanted for some time.
Other than the fact that my leg sometimes gets stiff after I’ve been sitting with my knee bent for some time and the fact that it won’t straighten fully (we’re getting closer and closer to that every day!), I’ve been told by my surgeon that on a molecular level my leg is as good as it was before the surgery (arguably better). If you follow my posts regarding my current training, you’ll see that I’m physically stronger than I have been in some time even before the surgery. In order to avoid ever having to experience anything similar again, my goal is to continue to keep my muscles and joints strong through consistent strength training. I’m lifting heavier and heavier and seeing the results in not only my appearance, but they are making my cycling, swims and runs stronger and easier. Natasha Van Der Mewe has always said triathlon is a strength sport. Admittedly, I didn’t pay attention like I should have. I am now a believer and hope that anyone reading this can take away that idea as the one little nugget of learning.
The physical road back was challenging, but the mental road back was even more challenging. The photo I’m sharing in this piece is a photo I took while laying on my yoga mat early on in my post-surgery recovery – likely a week or two into the process – and I was unable to do the most basic movements with my leg. I cried. I was tired and realized that the 9 to 12 months road to recovery was going to be a long an difficult one both physically and mentally. I took this photo because I wanted to always remember the moment I felt almost hopeless as to ever doing what I loved to do again.
While far from being a professional athlete, I did find my daily routine of being up early and being on the bike, the road or treadmill running, or in the pool was a significant part of my well-being. It was how I coped with stress and was a passion that I had outside of my job. It was something I did just for me. I challenged myself to increase my watts while cycling, or run faster, or swim faster and with more efficiency. The idea of having to put that aside for some time while I simply learned how to walk again without a limp was overwhelming at times. For the first few weeks, I was even afraid to step in and out of the shower over a roughly 3 inch high lip in the tile. I knew this was going to be a long and difficult process.
I was able to quickly change my mindset away from what I wasn’t able to do and focused on the achievements and milestones instead and looked towards the positive progress I was making. Thinking not about what I wasn’t yet able to do, but what I was able to do today that I couldn’t do last week – or even yesterday – gave me the motivation needed to keep going, try a little harder each day, and to be patient with the progress because it was happening.
For those who don’t the same level of passion in physical activity, the idea of the surgery probably seems to be an inconvenient non-event. But, for those who thrive on movement and activity, it’s easier to understand the mental and physical challenges as a result of a massive and virtually binary shift from active to temporarily inactive.
That mindset carried me through the next year and has stayed with me as I continue to push harder and harder with my slightly bent leg that still won’t fully straighten and train to ride 3800 miles across the country on a bicycle. My orthopedic surgeon, by the way, says that I am absolutely physically ready to do this in terms of my ACL and is highly supportive of my focus on strength training as a key part of the training.
Every day, this fifty-something-year-old body pushes me forward and allows me to do something I never thought I’d be doing in my mid-fifties. I don’t look like I thought I’d look nor do I feel like I thought I’d feel. And I never thought I’d be focusing my energy and efforts on preparing for an undertaking like riding my bike across the United States. I appreciate each day that I am able to do this as a gift and blessing. The series of circumstances that have unfolded for me to be able to undertake this journey are not a coincidence, but have all led to where I am today and – for that – I am grateful. I am also grateful to have undergone the ACL surgery and healing as a reminder of what it means to be grateful as we can so easily pass through life simply ‘being’.
I refuse to live this marvelous life I’ve been gifted simply ‘being’.
