Written by I am reminded of late of the idea of being true to yourself and the importance of not trying to be ‘like’ others or to ‘be’ something you aren’t. There is an important difference between inspiration and feeling inadequate because you aren’t the same as what you see on TV, in the movies, or anywhere online. I love the idea of finding inspiration everywhere I look, but I will never feel less than fantastic or fabulous because I am not the same as someone else I see elsewhere. Yes, we have seen an abundance of the latter in the age of social media. That said, one could argue it’s been around as long as we’ve had print media.
Growing up, I was obsessed with fashion magazines. I loved flipping through issue after issue of beautiful print magazines and folding down the corners or tearing the pages out with images that I loved for one reason or another. I grew up in the age of the ‘supermodel’ and knew the names of all of the biggest models. Naomi, Paulina, Linda, Christy, Cindy, Kathy… I knew each and every one of them. My mom has shared stories of the fact that I could identify all the top designers – Chanel, Valentino, Dolce & Gabbana, Yves St. Laurent, Donna Karan and the list goes on. If I saw a photo, I could instantly tell you who designed it. When George Michael launched his ‘Freedom’ video – it demonstrated the perfect convergence of the music and fashion industries. This perfect mash-up was only exaggerated by the list of models who married the rock/pop stars.
During that time, young women aspired to be like the supermodels. We didn’t get to see them online, but we did see them month after month after month in the never-ending parade of fashion magazines we purchased. Years later, I would have the opportunity to meet one of my fashion idols during my teenaged years – Paulina Porizkova. She was funny, lovely, and beyond gracious. And she was smart. I was delighted to see that she was human and engaging. She was far more than moody poses in a magazine. And, yes, she was far taller than I with both of us in flats.
In the end, what I realize is that even in meeting her, I never felt inadequate. She had married the lead singer of the Cars, Ric Ocasek, who had not turned out to be the wonderful husband she’d wanted and left her almost penniless before his death. They were undergoing a divorce at the time he died. She and I had simply lived different lives. Mine was no less special than hers – just different.
How I live my life in terms of what I do with my choices to be physically fit and healthy, or in terms of the ways I challenge myself works for me. I don’t expect for a second that others will choose to do the same. If they do, wonderful! But, we are all uniquely human and what is interesting or works for me, may not work for others. What I hope to do is to inspire others to identify their own challenges and seek their own adventures – not to replicate mine. My goal is always to show those around me – particularly women my age, or of ANY age, or even men – that you can do big things. You can do epic shit. My epic shit is not the same as your epic shit. And that’s okay.
I’m still trying to carve my arms a la Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 – and am far from ashamed to admit it. It’s a solid goal. I don’t, for a second, believe that my arms currently undergoing a transformation of their own are any less beautiful than hers. Seeing this photo helps me to have a goal to which I can work towards.
At the very least, I hope that others will see the underlying patterns that they can follow. It is possible to be a wife, a mother, a leader, an employee, a friend, and still do big things. There are sacrifices that will need to be made. There will be commitments that need to be made. There will be priorities that need to be set. In the end, these are all based on the things that you choose for your life. But, find the things that inspire you and choose to pursue them in your own way and in your own time. Know, however, that they won’t happen without an investment – an investment of you and what you have to offer. Like ‘Atomic Habits’ suggests – they don’t all have to start overnight. Start small and let the flywheel take over.
In the end, be inspired by others – there is nothing wrong with that. Don’t, however, ever sell yourself short because you are not this person or that person, or don’t have this life or that life. The life you have is the life you choose. We are given limited time on this beautiful big blue marble. Don’t waste a single second trying to be someone else. Be you. Be authentic.